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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Updates.

One of those posts which I get myself to do once in awhile, to think back on what has been happening and how things might have been done differently.

Its already the end of week 5 of school and pretty much means I'm just about to cross the halfway mark. Doesn't really seem like a long time ago since I got back here. In fact much of the memories from the earlier weeks are still very much stuck in my head.

It has been a rather difficult start this semester, with a heckload of stuff zipping through my mind, some staying behind and causing quite a mess. Guess it just shows me how much I can fail to understand myself sometimes. (Acutally, the thought that I lie to and cheat myself when attempting to reflect on my actions did cross my mind and it really is quite a scary thought.) Wonder how you ever stayed true to yourself. Maybe I have been creating one too many excuses for things that are happening when it's just merely because I was unwilling to voice out what I wanted. Never really had to do that before but now that it did, I realise it has done me way more harm than good.

Anyways, I'm pretty thankful that it's just about over. Just about. I have to admit that there still exists this risk that I can lose control of my emotions and fal back into that pit. Hopefully nothing pushes me back in there. Finally seeing the light of day and doing what I'm supposed to do.

So I guess the last of the five weeks was pretty much the most normal of the lot. Busy with clubs and events, and probbly abit of school - catching up on the first four weeks. Mid-sems are coming in about a week plus, and that means I just got to get down to being a more effcient worker. Got to at least get through some of the revision papers provided.

3 more months and I'll be back in Singapore already. Not really excited about the trip back, really. Maybe I've been numbed having travel back and forth so many times, but I guess there's a bigger reason behind that. I just want to get to the spring break, and I don't want anything more. I just want the freedom I desire. The time alone, the life away from these.

Just don't step back in there, Adrian.