Multitracks

It's probably the lastest craze, this multitrack recording thing. It's definitely not new, but I guess Sam Tsui's video (that really, spreaded faster than bacteria on a slab of rump on a hot summer day) really got everyone inspired to get something up on any video-hosting site they can find.

You know what, I just lost my entire train of thoughts and inspiration to write because Corporate Law just came to mind. Gah. I hate using that subject as an excuse for everything, but I swear, it really is a pain.

I'll be back when I feel like it again. Brr. Now, back to law and more multitracks to entertain me and keep me from falling asleep.

Expectations.

The biggest problem of all - expectations.

It really isn't all about wants and needs, its about expectations. You can want something badly, or need something really badly. But wait till you experience expecting something and not getting it.

Boy, does it hurt. Especially if the wait has been long.

Time to fix this feeble self. Weak, really weak. Unbecoming of what is expected. How ironic.

Poor Bernanke

There we go.


And my personal favourite.

More than half.

It's way beyond the halfway-mark, and in fact I'm exactly a month away form my first paper. Suprisingly, my academic workload has been the least of my worries so far. Club affairs and other personal stuff have intead been taking up most of my time and energy. Not sure if it's exactly a good thing or not, but I'm hoping for the best. At least I know that I now have an entire month to do what I need for my studies, and hopefully set everything else aside.

Sometimes I just feel as if I'm being misunderstood, yet I find it almost impossible to fully express myself. I could just go 'not that it really matters' or 'heck, to hell with it', but just wouldn't let me off totally. That uneasy tingling just comes again and again. Sigh.

Okay, off to lessons now. Time to look normal again.

Commitment.

Commitment isn't something that you merely talk about or profess - it isn't just a declaration. It is not anything like a promise; it isn't a one-off verbal agreement. It is on-going and comes from within, something you decide upon from the onset of placing yourself in that very position.

Commitment doesn't only require you to make an effort to find time for whatever you are commitment to, it requires you to actively control your emotions, to say and do what is right. It probably even means that even if a promise cannot be fulfilled, there is no reason for to make a fuss out of it. Under certain circumstances, it might call for controlled reactions, or even a suppression of emotions.

When you are committed, you do not claim credit for any efforts made. Commitment requires that you do everything in the best interests of whatever you are committed to, even if it causes discomfort or inconvenience, without trying to claim credit or seek compensation. There is going to be a lot of compromise in such situations, probably more than you might be used to.

Once in awhile, you get tempted to compare how much you have given and how much has been given. When you start to feel uncomfortable when the scales seem to be tipping one way, you (over)compensate by throwing more weight on opposite side, hoping to balance things out. And if that still does not help, you throw 'commitment' into the picture, justifying that imbalance. Remember, do not claim credit or ask for anything in return for your actions.

Sometimes you question yourself, asking if that is what you want, and you sit down, recalling your original decision to make that commitment, to give without question. And you start to feel bad when you want to take, no matter how small a pinch you want. Yet tat voice within you screams at you to reach out and grab a handful of what you can get. You compromise by sticking a hand out, waiting, not grabbing. And when you get nothing, you sit quietly and wait. Why, because it is a commitment. You do not expect anything. You do not take anything unless it is given. You given whenever you can, whatever you can. And what can you give or how much can you give, that depends on your commitment.

Commitment. Could it be nothing more than a big lie told to justify everything that happens. To justify inbalance, to set aside differences. Doesn't seem to make people very much happier when this happens.

MJ Medley.

Thanks to Ruwan for making my night. Perfecto.

Sing, sing a song.

Every once in awhile, you come across someone remarkable. Someone so strong, so determined. And now I look at myself, asking myself how is it that these people can move on in life after what they have been through. And I look at myself again in the mirror, asking myself how weak can I get, stuck at the least devastating or disruptive things in life.



It's remarkable, I tell you, how these people really inspire others. You don't have to be the best at what you do all the time, because thre are always other things that people can look up to and admire you for.

On a slightly different note, here's one of those songs that really irked me if I heard it over the radio. BUT. This has got to be one of my favourites. If only Britney's songs were always done in such a tasteful and splendid manner.

Updates.

One of those posts which I get myself to do once in awhile, to think back on what has been happening and how things might have been done differently.

Its already the end of week 5 of school and pretty much means I'm just about to cross the halfway mark. Doesn't really seem like a long time ago since I got back here. In fact much of the memories from the earlier weeks are still very much stuck in my head.

It has been a rather difficult start this semester, with a heckload of stuff zipping through my mind, some staying behind and causing quite a mess. Guess it just shows me how much I can fail to understand myself sometimes. (Acutally, the thought that I lie to and cheat myself when attempting to reflect on my actions did cross my mind and it really is quite a scary thought.) Wonder how you ever stayed true to yourself. Maybe I have been creating one too many excuses for things that are happening when it's just merely because I was unwilling to voice out what I wanted. Never really had to do that before but now that it did, I realise it has done me way more harm than good.

Anyways, I'm pretty thankful that it's just about over. Just about. I have to admit that there still exists this risk that I can lose control of my emotions and fal back into that pit. Hopefully nothing pushes me back in there. Finally seeing the light of day and doing what I'm supposed to do.

So I guess the last of the five weeks was pretty much the most normal of the lot. Busy with clubs and events, and probbly abit of school - catching up on the first four weeks. Mid-sems are coming in about a week plus, and that means I just got to get down to being a more effcient worker. Got to at least get through some of the revision papers provided.

3 more months and I'll be back in Singapore already. Not really excited about the trip back, really. Maybe I've been numbed having travel back and forth so many times, but I guess there's a bigger reason behind that. I just want to get to the spring break, and I don't want anything more. I just want the freedom I desire. The time alone, the life away from these.

Just don't step back in there, Adrian.

Facebook video.

One reason why I love facebook. Videos, videos and more videos to make you laugh.

Toccata and Fugue on a guitar.

I want a set of fngers like these.

Bach fun.

This is what music should be like, reconstructed for the entertainment of everyone else. Then again, it probably takes one who understands it all to fully appeciate the fun in it all.

Sweet dreams are made of these

It's stuff like this that cheers you up at the end of a long day or week, or to simply take your mind off everything that's clogging inside.

Smile.

Drawn across the face
To clown
To entertain
To cheer

But drawn.

Y?

Inquietude
Restless
Estranged
Angst
Loss
Lament
Yearning
Mirthless
Insane
Suffocation
Strangled
Y _ _ ?
Overwhelmed
Uneasiness

Voices.

The worst thing you have to fight are the voices in your head - the one that says yes, and the other that says no.

There's nothing much you can do to silence them, basically because they just scream at you when you least expect it. And for some stupid reason, they get you involved in their conflicts and never seem to settle their issues amongst themselves.

Spare me.

Just give me a ****ing break before I do.

Screams

No need to scream, I hear you. Loud and clear. Just get out when you're done. The sooner the better.

Charmed.

Attending functions and events aren't exactly the easiest things for those who are not used to speaking to random strangers. It is almost a nightmare for those who have problems switching topics almost very quickly and probably touching on almost every single topic you can ever think of. Try switching from cars to economics to politics to other hobbies like golfing, travelling, gaming or even simply talking about hotels and tourist destinations around the world. Talk about education and the world top university rankings, and talk about the largest banks, finance firms, accounting firms, and maybe try recalling the most recent corporate takeover or merger that took the world by surprise. Yes, it is a really daunting task, especially for those who never quite took an interest in all the above topics.

Well, it is probably natural to expect that such things seem to occur not very frequently, unless you happen to be the child of a really rich parent, or happen to know too many people involved with these groups of people. But such scenes with ties and suits and champagne glasses don't necessarily happen with the same settings and outfits. They can really occur just about anywhere, even in school. Simple gatherings for big groups of people often require you to make an effort to join a random conversation and quickly grasp what is going on in the conversation.

Networking. What a nightmare.

And just when you think that having to conjure story after story to keep the conversation going (and make yourself look like a well-read and experienced guy/girl) is the most difficult part, you are wrong. You need to learn to give the perfect smile and, more importantly, the perfectly-timed laughter. No loud, roaring laughter, but short, timed laughter that makes you look like you can be humorous yet still portray a mature image. What a headache. Now we all can understand why the corporate world and the playing grounds for the socialites are so dangerous and treacherous to roam around. One wrong judgement, comment, gesture or even laughter can cost you your reputation (and the next rung on your social and career ladders).

So maybe we should just stay away from such events and be happy hanging on to the rung we are currently on. But for those who are more adventurous and ambitious, perhaps picking up more 'PR skills' and improving on your charm-factor would seem to be the only way to help yourself up the next rung. After all, who climbs the ladders with pure hard work? The hard workers are kept doing their hard work while those who can talk can stand in front and lead with their 'leadership skills'. "Let us not get too involved with whether or not 'leadership skills' are simply all about charming others with a 'vision' which any other half-genius can probably think of."

So, what about those who attend such events with a wide smile? How genuine are those smiles and laughter? How real are these people other than their physical presence? Sometimes, I catch myself giving not-so-sincere smiles when I attend little gatherings. I feel guilty thinking back and realising how insincere and fake I was that particular night. Then, I realise that perhaps that's the way to behave if you want to be 'warm' and 'polite'.

Headache again.

Is this why the corporate world isn't for everyone, and more so for those who want to remain true to not only themselves but the people around them? Are most of the people at these functions enjoying themselves or are they there to merely fufil their obligations in attending suchs functions and 'giving face' to the organisers, and how many of them are merely acting throughout the entire night?

Maybe all these are the sacrifices you have to make to be seated at the same table as the tycoon next door and the minister 3 blocks away. Or hopefully, this is just a totally cynical perspective on dinners and functions. I really hope so. But even if it is true that all these are nothing but a group of part-time actors gathering every other month, why wouldn't you spend some time acting to get onto the next rung? Afterall, the only way you can live a life of luxury through acting is via Hollywood, and down here do don't need to be an A-lister - just have a pleasant-looking face, a warm smile, and a nice laugh.

Round four.

So, forth semester. Nothing new this time I guess. Just trying to reorganize myself and get myself used to having lessons at different times and days. Well, more hours this time but packed into three days. Whenever someone asks about my schedule and I reply that I have a 3-day week, their jaws drop like they've just seen Barney prance across in pink tutus. Yes, 3 days sounds good, but 3 days does not mean you do not need to do work at home, and neither does it mean you don't have to give a damn about school, it just means you have longer days when you have to be in school for lessons.

I hope I have made it clear to everyone who asked that having 12 hours of lessons a week does not mean you have the remaining ( 7x24-12 = ) 156 hours to play. It means you have 12 hours in school, and a huge chunk more for assignments, revision, readings, and the likes. No, its not tough as hell, but neither is it easy-peasy that distinctions knock on your doors and await you to invite them in for tea.

It was my intention to come here to study and experience a different life. I guess I have had my share of a 'different' life, albeit one that is still pretty much Asian. Well, to be really frank, even though half the people I see on the streets are Asian, no was is the culture here close to what you'd get in Singapore. And that, I suppose, is what gives students the varied experience when they study overseas. Culture - both in terms of school life and also outside academia.

Okay, so here I am, at the start of Round Four. The first three have been relatively rewarding, and I guess this should too. More activities in school which aren't all about textbooks and lecture notes, and hopefully a more rewarding education outside of school. More habits to pick up, and also more skills to learn (and yes, I will once again attempt to find time for driving - really no good excuse now that I have more off-days).

Okay, enough for today. End of Day 1 of Round Four. It's already the end of July, and I'll be back again by the end of November. Never felt far away from home; guess it isn't easy to understand why.

Melbourne again.

Back again in this place. Yeah, doesn't sound like I enjoyed the trip back. Well, I can't seem to get myself into the sleep-mode, and something is lingering on my mind. Something not exactly pleasant, but not exactly sad. And like what my friend said, it's similar to 'booking in to camp'. I guess that's pretty right.

And to make things worse, I forgot the alarm clock. Look, it's not that I want to make a big fuss over the clock, but somehow it does add up. Like, everything does now.

Well, maybe I will try to get this anxiety off my mind by lying in bed and hopefully my already-tired mind will just switch off without having me to force it to go to sleep.

I haven't exactly packed my bag for tomorrow. See how screwed up this is? Sigh.

Holidays

The holidays are coming to an end. I'll be leaving again in less than a week, and this time it's hitting me pretty hard. I guess it's the whole thing about dreading school and stuff, and also because this holiday isn't exactly long enough. (Then again, which holiday was ever long enough?)

Didn't do too much during this trip back, barely met up with my friends. I guess everyone else is just busy and have their own stuff to deal with. Well I guess it's good too since I get to stay home and rest, and sort of spend time at home with my parents.

I feel pretty bad when I stay at home because I mostly end up hiding in my room, tapping away on my laptop. I mean, there is the occasional television programme to catch, but I still don't feel as if I'm spending time with my mom. Perhaps I can only give myself a pat on the back for tying to have more dinners at home or out with them. And I guess I should try to spend less nights out, not only for my own health, but also because it probably sucks as a parent to have to wait for your child to return home, and usually falling asleep before he does. Sigh, not exactly a nice thing to do.

I really don't know why I dread going back to Melbourne so much. The thought of another stressful semester mixed with the guilt of not spending sufficient time with my family seems to add up to a greater whole. And I guess there are many other smaller factors that are hiding somewhere in my mind. Not just the coming semester, but also the period after this coming semester ends. So much uncertainty, far more to worry about.

I still have to admit that this is a good little break from work. I mean, no thoughts of tutorials or assignments or exams for the entire 4 weeks. Definitely something I needed. But then again, I cannot agree that I have had a wonderful or enjoyable holiday, especially with so much random thoughts going on in my mind everyday. No, it's not a bad thing, but it just meant that I did not have time to sit down and not think about anything and enjoy myself. I'm supposed to be able to enjoy myself in the next break, but that's probably going to (and, ironically, hopefully) be filled with work and internship. Supposedly for the better good and long-term goals.

I just want my time, far away from the worries of life, far away from the thoughts of having to conform to the needs of society and everything else. I don't need to be far away from the buzz of the city, and in fact I'd love to sit down in a cafe and watch the city, but as an observer, a passive bystander who does not have a role to play, or any form of responsibility. There, only the taste of my drink, the air, and what I observe matter, and only on a superficial level.

So where did my holiday go. Nowhere, I suppose. Only that I never quite found it myself.

Home again.

Home sweet home. Afte a long and painful flight, I'm finally back home. All I had for my flight entertainment were 2 uber bad movies. One condemned by my friend on my right on my flight, and the other movie by the friend on the left. Well done, Adrian. But honestly, there wasn't anything else worth watching, and no way was I going to watch some 1960-looking Bruce Lee film. Kickass, yes, but movie quality was a total turnoff.

Right, so what's planned for this trip? Well, nothing. Nothing at all.

Gah, back to resting.

Obligation

I shall post here because someone told me to post here.

I'll be back in a little while more. Mind's still undergoing reconstruction.

Wash Your Hands Too.

mrbrownshow.com - Wash Your Hands Too (Parody of Wonder Girl's 'Nobody')



I'm pretty amused. Typical mrbrown stuff, but yeah is still pretty funny.

Anyways, it's last week of the semester and I hav just about 2 weeks to my first two papers. I'm not sure how I'm coping because I have not seen the past year papers. Textbook practice seems easy for now. Good of course, but it's hard to tell because those are pretty much too easy as compred to what I'd expect.

Okay, back to proper revision. Got 2 hours before I need to head to school.

Case Study.

Now I truly understand why cultures mean so much to people and organizations. Not culture in the ethnicity-sense, but from a more general behavioural perspective. Indeed, it has been quite an eyeopener for me, and despite the groans and rants resulting from the 5000-word essay and other assignments, organisational behaviour has really shed light on things that I would have never before examined in such detail.

Group think sucks big time.
Yes, it really does. The number of times irrational or bad decisions were made as a 'group' are far beyond my brain and hold. And for some (good) reasons, no one really stands up against these decisions. Why? Because all nails that stick out get hammered in, just like how suggestions deemed to be different are demolished on the spot, and the person who raised that suggestion gets marked. Well, if everyone is doing a good job then why not? But evidently, someone needs a proper objective form of measure.

Cultures in small communities must be monitored.
Well, anyone from the outside world would really recognise that this bunch of dimwits aren't exactly 'normal'. The culture is evidently flawed, and it makes it worse when this culture is pretty deeply entrenched in the minds of those people. Cheating, lying, aggression, it all adds up with occasional acts of pseudo-intellect with spurts of sarcasm and pseudo-wit, into a big mess of testosterone embedded in a world of text. Not everyone is guilty of this, but perhaps a certain subgroup.

Subcultures are potentially dangerous.
Now, this is one thing you cannot deny, and it really does not take an idiot to know how different the subcultures are in here. Every group has their own style of doing things. But then again, we do also realise how many of these subcultures tend so share a common point, or rather a common enemy? Now, if I could quote someone here : "when a score of people have made comments/remarks/complains against you, then i believe that the problem lies in you." Although I highly condemn the abuse of self-reflective statements, imposing it upon others in a form of criticism, I have to give this statement some validity. Then if given that were true, there isn't really much of a subculture, just a big rift between two groups of people. The upright, and the downright despicable.

Right, okay. I give it to you, there are some exceptions to the case. But look, who cares if you're a black sheep in a flock of white or a white in a flock of black. You belong to that group; your acceptance of that group only stands to show your acceptance for the norms that group adheres to. Your failure to stand up against immorality, excessive aggression and unjustified pride only makes you another one of them. Also, pointing out the existance of a black sheep does not undermind the argument that before me stands a whole bunch of sheep. A sheep is still a sheep, regardless its colour, like how a bunch of corrupt scums will continue to exist as a selfish bunch of people, despite one or two people who bother to (sorry, quote again) 'grace' others.

Resistance to change is quite difficult to overcome.
I always though that change-resistance was something that no one should ever have. Then again, I now realise another reason why people resist change - laziness. Look, you know that your foundation here is bad enough even a 4-storey building won't survive a 4-pt quake. And what you do? You build up agian towards your twin-towers. (The most you can ever acheive is the corruption in that nation.) You refuse to change everything else because of your own laziness. You claim that other people prefer the status quo. Oh really? Maybe it's because you did not tell them how lousy your current base is, and that in the very very near future you will be forced to either redo everything or stop building further. Such a shame that you people who claim to have the 'expertise' do not reacognise that fact. And yes, your resistance is only justified by borrowing the names of others. Try thinking again why you yourself don't want to change. You're supposed to be selfish and focus on yourself, remember?

Ok, enough. I should stop wasting my time here ranting for an unseen audience. Chances are, people who read this won't know what I'm writing about as well. I should get back to work and stop wasting my time here 'gracing' this group of people.

Game for golf?

Having stayed around in the community for quite a few years (yes, it's coming close to a decade), it's quite depressing to witness how things have gone from bad to worse. From a decline in players to a state of beyond words. Having players is one thing, but having a bunch of mindless imbeciles who can only boast of their ego (problems) is another thing altogether. After all, who actually enjoys receiving a daily load of excessive pride and ego?

It is really a pity that your stupidity and lack of leadership, planning abilities, vision, management skills, intelligence, linguistic skills, motivation, communication skills, unjustness, meritocracy and rational decision-making is destroying everything before you (and my lack of time to think and type will also regrettably paint an incomplete picture of what a nincompoop you really are). Maybe, let's just drop the entire list of accusations I have just hurled, and focus on one - intelligence. Pol pot, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, would have been better leaders only because they probably did better in the intelligence department. Machiavellian would hardly be a word suited for you, merely because it hints of intelligence, even if used for scheming.

You see, your lack of an evolved brain has brought impending doom upon the thing you tried to rescue from the clutches from a tyrant. Now, not only has your theft (look, I refused to use with word in the past only due to the respect I had for your dreams) left a bad mark, now it seems like you are stepping into a league of your own. One of total corruption, nepotism and bad decision-making. Nowhere in my life have I seen such a poor leader. You fail to rally your team, and in fact work against one of your most important members. You removed that person merely because your pub-buddy decides that sarcasm was too much to handle (and here I must add that it was your drinking-mate that started this episode with a rather rude comment).

Well, "it's just a game" is probably the only excuse I can rely on to justify my participation in your mindless power struggles. No point running into a wall, right? And since it's "just a game", why not enjoy while I can? As much as it is pointless to run into a wall, it is pointless to talk reason to a deaf cow. Even a normal cow reacts if you screamed into its ears. And oh, apparently your deafness does not stop you from answering a phone call from a drinking buddy who needs your help in sidelining (read: silencing) resistance.

I guess I have had more than my dose of this crap. I'd really be stumped if an interviewer knew of this situation and asked me what I decided to do. I'd probably opt to lose my job and tell my interviewer "I'll visit him with a golf club. And oh, make it a W1."

End of 11

Well, it's the end of week 11 of school. 1 more week of lessons, and that means I'm about 2 weeks from exams. Doesn't seem to bother me too much and honestly speaking, I'm not sure if that is a good sign.

This sem's pretty fast-paced. Good thing for me, exams are pretty spread out. 2 consecutive papers followed by slightly more than a week later. I have about these 2+ weeks to finish revision for the first two, and 1+ week for the last. Doesn't seem too bad for now.

I'm really tired. It's been one mad rush after another. I mean, not that I should complain seeing how other people I know slog it out and having it worse than me, but hey, that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to rant myself. I just want some extra time to really relax. And relax means throwing everything out of your mind, not sitting down with a cup of tea thinking about the next due date. I'm really wishing that the next coming sem (and year) will be better, but I know that chances are, it would only get tougher. Gah. Time to get myself ready I guess.

Now, I really don't know if running for office in two clubs is exactly a smart thing to do. Decorations for my resume versus a whole lot of my time.

Sigh. Don't we all hate choosing, especially when we usually end up regretting half the time we make a decision?

Oh well.

Once in a long time.

Well well, back again. Just to leave a note in case anyone ever pops by. No, I'm not dead. At least, not yet. Just a little too busy to spend time here.

Back to my essay.

Updates.

I am getting more fed up with my lack of concentration this semester - evident from my last two posts. There seems to be something different in the air, and I have no inkling whatsoever why this is happening, or neither do I know a solution to this.

Bad, really bad.

Or maybe it isn't THAT bad afterall, and I still am coping well. That's probably bullcrap, since the content for my modules this year isn't exactly something I am familiar with. The only good thing is that music does ot have any exam, and organizational behaviour is weighted at 50%. Econometrics and Cost Management still take a huge chunk, and well, let's see how things go.

Cooking hasn't been exactly fun these days. Correction: the cooking may be fun, but the washing definitely isn't. Try using a small round sink and you would probably understand. I mean, my pot barely fits in that pathetic thing. There is a dishwasher, but when you are cooking instant noodles for yourself, it just doesn't make sense to use the dishwasher.

Anyways, off to research. Journal articles again.

Distraction.

He sits and listens. The voice within, external ignored. The mind works, processing thoughts outside, nothing inside.

Cast out the voice. Reverse the processes.

Distracted.

I feel so distracted from school.

Sigh.

A weekend off.

At long last, the mad rush is over, at least for the weekend. It's been a real hectic start to a new year, being squashed by assignments and really fast and confusing lectures. Makes doing tutorials a real pain. Having said that, it's not as if this is the end - probably 2 more of such cycles to endure.

Second year is really a lot tougher. Maybe it's because I'm doing 4 totally unfamiliar subjects so that's probably why things aren't as easy as it used to be last year. But anyways, I'm pretty confident I will be able to catch up if I can take some time from my weekends to do my regular revisions. This is problaby where 'constant work' really makes a difference.

Okay. Back to revision, and I'll try to log in here more often. Need the relief once in awhile.

School starts.

Okay, long time since anything was written here. Basically, I'm back in Melbourne and school's started since yesterday. Somehow I feel less driven. Maybe it's because I'm a little more distracted. Anyways, I hope I can get that solved soon. Assignments will be released in no time, cannot afford to slack around anymore. Sigh.

1 month to go.

I have about a month left before I head back to school. While it would seem like a rather long time more to go - espcially to some of my friends - I am starting to feel the negative vibes. Might have to try to make that a more positive when I get back, no point going to school dreading each day.

Lunar new year wasn't too bad. The Nintendo Wii set really entertained the kids and I guess it is a rather good console to have. Funny and dumb games, but a whole lot of fun, defintely more fun than I would have expected.

I'm becoming very lazy these days. Been wanting to write a proper post, but I guess it failed. And photography, well I get quite lazy too and I have not gone travelling out to do shoots. Got to start real soon. And oh, subjects for my next semester. Thats the most important one I suppose.

Ok, better start on something. School first.

Forward down the line.

Shunning the light, walking forward. Down a strip, light from behind. Weird, isn't it? Light on the back, scorching summer sun. Yet, darkness ahead. Blocked by the mind, preoccupied - behind. Strained, it screams.

What's past is past, but what next?

Letting go isn't simply relaxing grip of your hand. It's more often than not in the mind. And ironiclly, the larger the subject, the more it seems to stick to your hand.

Happy 2009

Uh, oops? Happy 2009?

Better late than never. I'll be back again when I'm in a better mood to post some stuff. A lot on my mind lately but it doesn't seem to stick around long enough to last the day. I hope it comes back soon.