Updates.

One of those posts which I get myself to do once in awhile, to think back on what has been happening and how things might have been done differently.

Its already the end of week 5 of school and pretty much means I'm just about to cross the halfway mark. Doesn't really seem like a long time ago since I got back here. In fact much of the memories from the earlier weeks are still very much stuck in my head.

It has been a rather difficult start this semester, with a heckload of stuff zipping through my mind, some staying behind and causing quite a mess. Guess it just shows me how much I can fail to understand myself sometimes. (Acutally, the thought that I lie to and cheat myself when attempting to reflect on my actions did cross my mind and it really is quite a scary thought.) Wonder how you ever stayed true to yourself. Maybe I have been creating one too many excuses for things that are happening when it's just merely because I was unwilling to voice out what I wanted. Never really had to do that before but now that it did, I realise it has done me way more harm than good.

Anyways, I'm pretty thankful that it's just about over. Just about. I have to admit that there still exists this risk that I can lose control of my emotions and fal back into that pit. Hopefully nothing pushes me back in there. Finally seeing the light of day and doing what I'm supposed to do.

So I guess the last of the five weeks was pretty much the most normal of the lot. Busy with clubs and events, and probbly abit of school - catching up on the first four weeks. Mid-sems are coming in about a week plus, and that means I just got to get down to being a more effcient worker. Got to at least get through some of the revision papers provided.

3 more months and I'll be back in Singapore already. Not really excited about the trip back, really. Maybe I've been numbed having travel back and forth so many times, but I guess there's a bigger reason behind that. I just want to get to the spring break, and I don't want anything more. I just want the freedom I desire. The time alone, the life away from these.

Just don't step back in there, Adrian.

Facebook video.

One reason why I love facebook. Videos, videos and more videos to make you laugh.

Toccata and Fugue on a guitar.

I want a set of fngers like these.

Bach fun.

This is what music should be like, reconstructed for the entertainment of everyone else. Then again, it probably takes one who understands it all to fully appeciate the fun in it all.

Sweet dreams are made of these

It's stuff like this that cheers you up at the end of a long day or week, or to simply take your mind off everything that's clogging inside.

Smile.

Drawn across the face
To clown
To entertain
To cheer

But drawn.

Y?

Inquietude
Restless
Estranged
Angst
Loss
Lament
Yearning
Mirthless
Insane
Suffocation
Strangled
Y _ _ ?
Overwhelmed
Uneasiness

Voices.

The worst thing you have to fight are the voices in your head - the one that says yes, and the other that says no.

There's nothing much you can do to silence them, basically because they just scream at you when you least expect it. And for some stupid reason, they get you involved in their conflicts and never seem to settle their issues amongst themselves.

Spare me.

Just give me a ****ing break before I do.

Screams

No need to scream, I hear you. Loud and clear. Just get out when you're done. The sooner the better.