Love, Santa.

Merry X'mas to all you Earthlings. I hope that you have recieved more than enough presents. Sorry if some of them came late, because some of my reindeers went on strike after learning that they are not paid as much as taxi-drivers in Singapore.

Also, the recent rise in oil prices have led to a fall in number of people using electric heaters, so the chimneys have proven to be another tough hurdle to pass (especially considering I usually choke the chimneys given the size of my rear).

Whatever the case, I am glad that everyone has enjoyed their holidays, and I hope that all you Earthlings have a Happy New Year ahead. 2008 should be more exciting. I heard they are going to ban the lighting of fireplaces the next Christmas due to some changes in the Kyoto Protocol, forbidding the use of fuels that give off carbon, since it ends up staining my clothes, forcing me to use more detergent to clean my pants. Also, there are rumours the reindeer union will fight for higher wages to match with the recent rise in inflation. It is a shame that George Bush will carry on with his sooting practices, so I will be forced to not deliver his presents next year. Bad boy.

Sadly, you might not have your gift delivered by me next year, because the anti-trust people are angry that I'm they only one sending gifts and that I run a monopoly. Now now, what are these people thinking. They want competition. So I will have to cut some fats and be more efficient. So while I wait for my task again next year, I shall hit the threadmills and do what I ought to.

Shucks! My greeting has become a forum-style rant that resembles those written by disgruntled Earthlings on their local Newspapers! Cut the rubbish, and let's get back to the well wishes!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all!

Love,
Santa.