Commitment.

Commitment isn't something that you merely talk about or profess - it isn't just a declaration. It is not anything like a promise; it isn't a one-off verbal agreement. It is on-going and comes from within, something you decide upon from the onset of placing yourself in that very position.

Commitment doesn't only require you to make an effort to find time for whatever you are commitment to, it requires you to actively control your emotions, to say and do what is right. It probably even means that even if a promise cannot be fulfilled, there is no reason for to make a fuss out of it. Under certain circumstances, it might call for controlled reactions, or even a suppression of emotions.

When you are committed, you do not claim credit for any efforts made. Commitment requires that you do everything in the best interests of whatever you are committed to, even if it causes discomfort or inconvenience, without trying to claim credit or seek compensation. There is going to be a lot of compromise in such situations, probably more than you might be used to.

Once in awhile, you get tempted to compare how much you have given and how much has been given. When you start to feel uncomfortable when the scales seem to be tipping one way, you (over)compensate by throwing more weight on opposite side, hoping to balance things out. And if that still does not help, you throw 'commitment' into the picture, justifying that imbalance. Remember, do not claim credit or ask for anything in return for your actions.

Sometimes you question yourself, asking if that is what you want, and you sit down, recalling your original decision to make that commitment, to give without question. And you start to feel bad when you want to take, no matter how small a pinch you want. Yet tat voice within you screams at you to reach out and grab a handful of what you can get. You compromise by sticking a hand out, waiting, not grabbing. And when you get nothing, you sit quietly and wait. Why, because it is a commitment. You do not expect anything. You do not take anything unless it is given. You given whenever you can, whatever you can. And what can you give or how much can you give, that depends on your commitment.

Commitment. Could it be nothing more than a big lie told to justify everything that happens. To justify inbalance, to set aside differences. Doesn't seem to make people very much happier when this happens.