Reminiscence

There exists a natural tendency for me to return here once every month or so to leave a note here. Honestly, I do not seem to actively recall that I have a neglected blog, but it comes naturally when I need an outlet to vent my frustrations.

Anyways, on with the post.

I used to enjoy walking up to windows on rainy days, staring out of my apartment, watching the rain fall, watching the world go by. Somehow it brought about this really warm, tingling sensation that I can, even up till now, vividly remember. It would seem like a silent appreciation for freedom, which is arguably very unexpected of a young boy aged 10.

I miss that feeling, that warm, tingling sensation. And even now, as I stare out of my window, I see nothing in front of me, only flashbacks of the younger me standing by the window, hugging my bolster, telling myself how happy I was. Happiness is now something I fight for to shove down my throat. It has really been a really long time since I could smile quietly to myself and say a word of thanks for everything. It doesn't seem to come naturally anymore.

All I have now are memories of happiness.