Emotions and reactions.

Everyone would have experienced some loss or severe disappointment before. Friends we confide in usually advise us to 'let go' and 'move on', or simply 'stop thinking so much about it'. It is common practice to dwell over something unsatisfactory, and it is a perfectly normal reaction. However, this should only happen to a certain extent, and beyond that limit, it turns harmful towards our well being.

Thinking back about an upsetting issue is a very common reaction. We always think back of the times we did something wrong or suffered some sort of injustice. We not only think of what really happened, but also how the outcome might have changed if we took a different course of actions. Deep inside, we all know that "what's done is done" and that even if we were to think back a million times, we just can no longer change what has happened.

Every time we think back, we add more details to our memory, focusing on the emotional hurt, magnifying the injustices we suffer, and we end up seeing ourselves the most pitiful thing on Earth. It's like starting with a sketch, then adding the outlines, then the colour, then the texture, then projected on a screen, and finally displayed in an entire exhibition hall. The only thing you get out of it is more drama in your life and more sympathy from people around you. Even if that is what you want, the amount of sorrow you bring to yourself every time you rewind and replay that scene far exceeds the possible benefits.

I always believe that happiness is a result of your reactions, not simply reliant on all external factors only. It is how you react that determines your well-being and happiness. People who do not learn to let go or control their emotions tend to lead very frustrated lives, and more so for people who take things too personally or dwell too long on trivial issues in life.

Taking things easy and being more positive does not mean one becomes apathetic to everything in life, nor does it mean that one should always suppress any negative feelings. Both over- and under-reacting are not healthy for our emotional, and sometimes even physical well-being. It does not mean that people who smile everyone you see them do not suffer from depression, because being unable to respond appropriately would mean that one is unable to realistically cope with the happenings in life.

It may be difficult to control your own emotions and reactions in the current lives we lead. Rushing at break-neck speed through life hardly gives you any time to sit down and spend time with yourself. Although we might all be very busy in our own lives, I strongly believe we all need some time to ourselves, to sit down and evaluate our own lives. Do try it out, even if you can only afford a few minutes a night, or 15 to 30 minutes on a Sunday afternoon. I guess it would serve you better than trying to relax by tuning in to the television.