Sonorous passion.

The trip up to Pattaya has stirred up alot of emotions within me. I thought I had gotten over the whole leaving-the-choir(s) thing. It's either that Pattaya managed to invoke a revival of such strong emotional attachments, or that I was just masking my yearnings and unwillingness to let go. Let us just assume it is a little bit of both.

It is really ironic how this trip seemed so fufilling while re-creating this vast emptiness within me after the end of it.

(Gosh. My mind is in a total whirl at this point in time.)

Back to where I was, yes. This emptiness. I would like to assume that this is just some form of a withdrawal symptom. Cold turkey? Perhaps.

I need to get a hold on myself before I let this whole thing eats me up. As ridiculous as it may sound, it hurts so badly that I start to tear when I start to reminisce. An indulgence? I hope it stops there. Then again, do I?

I am so lost in my thoughts now, it is hardly possible for me to type an entire sentence without pausing to think if I am typing what I am really feeling inside. It may not seem as if there is anything to consider or feel lost about, but there is. Somehow, there is.

The more I ponder over the issue, the more painful I realise it would be to be severed from the Choral scene in Singapore. Not that I have been very active in it, or not that I had any achievements to boast of, but the mere thought of not having a choir to sing with and feel comfortable around, especially with closer friends, really makes me think twice about leaving this island for five years.

"No man is an island."
And for five years, I might have to cope with being in a faraway land, away from the people I have been singing with for years. Distanced from something that played a huge role in my life, that influenced me so greatly since my accidental encounter with it in secondary school.

"The power of music, the power of song."
There was hardly any time for the current members of EBChoir and me to bond together considering we only met for 2 hours or so a week. Yet, we eventually got quite close together while in Pattaya. I guess that is what we all choristers love about singing in a choir.

"i thank You God for most this amazing day."
Yes, thank you. Thank you also to all members of EBChor and VJChoir who have created such a huge impact in my life, for being such wonderful friends. For the efforts you have put in, for the time and energy you committed to making every performance a success.

"And for those special moments, those times that we recall,"
For the times we shared, the outings, the dinners, the simple and quiet moments. Everything.

"Takes one last breath, and leaps."
A leap of faith. I guess I will just have to cope with everything for now. Afterall, it is too early to make judgements. Whatever the case, I shall make a promise to myself to make myself available for the next Voyage of Songs, wherever it may be held in 2009. And while I am there, get myself involved in their local choral scene to gather more experience and exposure to the international choral scene. Perhaps, things much just change. For the better.

Gosh, I am starting to sound extremely emotional. I just need to let it all out.

Right now, even listening to Whitacre's pieces makes me tear.
The power of music.

"hope, faith, life, love, dream, joy, truth, soul."