To say or not to say - that is the question.

Do you often find yourself caught in a situation where you do not know what you ought to say? Should you say things to please someone, or should you say things you truly mean?

It makes perfect sense that you should say things that you mean, especially to a partner or loved one if your life, and where honesty is of utmost, or almost absolute, importance. You don't want to end up having to lie to each other about your true feelings and let it add up till it culminates in the collapse of your relationship.

Then again, it also makes sense to say what the other party to hear so that you can avoid ugly confrontations of any sort. I guess we can agree that doing so can help prevent arguments that may jeopardize your future relationship.

Okay, so we accept that both advice makes sense, and to add to that, we can even say that we ought to choose between both, depending on the situation we are in. But realise that by doing so, we are back to square one, not knowing what to do.

So then, what exactly should we really do? The only thing I can think of is to really do what you want to do. Not in the "I do it my way" attitude, but to do things according to how you would want things to turn out. Yes, it may be hard to predict how people would react especially in very tense situations, but I believe this is a skill that we all ought to learn, something that would come in handy. And with some basic idea of what kind of reactions to expect, you can choose the appropriate words you would want to use.

I may start to sound like some bullshit-er or some hypocrite, but let's face it, when you are caught in a big quarrel with someone you truly care about, why risk losing everything just so that you can 'remain truthful and honest'? Why can't you simply say something nice, or just shut up if you have nothing to say?

Unless of course you let your emotions get the better of you, and in a fit of anger or utter irrationality, yell out the dumbest things in your life, before coming up with the greatest excuse of 'being honest'. Perhaps that might be true, but that's a whole separate issue altogether.